


A Stamping of Hooves

by Neffectual



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blowjobs, Centaurs, Cognitive Dissonance, Don't Get Excited, Horse dick, M/M, Mounting, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Remember, because centaurs, because horse dick, good grief, horse masturbation, literal horse dick, not a size thing, orisor inspired, so much shame, the death of the author's shame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-19 20:33:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3623352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neffectual/pseuds/Neffectual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi would be the first to admit that being a centaur is bloody stupid, but if he's going to have to be a mythical creature, he's damn well going to do it sensibly.<br/>Until Erwin comes along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mulebro

**Author's Note:**

> The porn I had to look at for this is going to be etched into my mind forever and not in a good way. And there isn't even sex in this because... how the heck do I write it without actually going and watching bestiality porn? Or just plain old writing bestiality porn?

The forest is sunlit in the early morning, golden light streaming into the pool at the centre, deep and clear, and Levi’s favourite place to take a dip at dawn. It’s early spring, so the water is cold enough to wake him up – he crawls sluggishly from sleep, but the peace of early morning is worth the early awakening – but as the sun hits the water, it keeps it from being too chilly. 

There is peace for him in this moment, and he takes his time to ensure that his hair is meticulously clean, as well as his tail, and uses the reach of his arms to check his front feet for stones, unable to reach the back ones on his own. His hindquarters gleam a deep, rich black in the water, tail hair fanning out and moving slickly through the clear pool. 

He used to bathe with the nymphs, but Petra was prone to giggling at how ‘obsessive’ he was about cleanliness, and no matter how good she was at checking his feet, the giggles got on his nerves. This early morning bath time is much calmer, and he lets out a sigh into the silence of the forest.

Which is, of course, when an enormous great oaf comes crashing into the clearing.  
“Do you mind?” Levi says, archly, stretching to his full height, which isn’t much, but shows off his strong back. He readies himself to kick, if he has to, because a centaur with a broken leg isn’t going to chase him. He’s been mistaken for a filly before – despite the lack of breasts, which are normally a dead giveaway – and he’s not prepared to take any lip from this overgrown pony.

The newcomer is tall, blond and wears a look which says he’s used to getting whatever he wants, and it makes Levi’s tail twitch and his lip curl. They’re an odd evolutionary mix, and sometimes he finds his face wants to make expressions which would be more suited for a muzzle and a vegetarian diet.

“Just popping in for a quick dip.” the fool says, flashing a blinding smile his way as he stampedes into the water, throwing up the silt at the bottom.

“Fucktrumpet.” Levi mutters, moving to get out before the sandy mess makes its way into his coat, “Like a fucking child.”

“I hardly think I’m that bad,” the stranger coos into his ear, and Levi neatly drives an elbow into his breastbone, so the other centaur makes a choked-off gasp.

“Thank you, I’m leaving now.” he says, brightly, fake smile stretching his lips as he turns, the silent ‘you wanker’ hanging in the air, “Follow me, and you’ll find yourself in a world of trouble.”

 

“I’m Erwin.” the blond says, earnestly, holding out a hand, “I think we got off on the wrong hoof.”

“I don’t think so.” Levi states, bluntly, and stalks out of the pond, shaking off his hair and hindquarters, hearing the quiet thwap as his tail slaps weakly against his back legs. He hears the gasp, but expects it at this point. 

Most centaurs, especially the males within mating age – he flatly refuses to call them stallions, because that’s ridiculous – keep their tails long, letting them trail behind them. Levi doesn’t let his tail drag on the ground anymore, because the last time his was that long, he wound up towing two small shrubs, a family of gnomes, and a very angry Nac Mac Feegle, who had taught him quite a few new swearwords before he’d managed to free the little bastard. He didn’t know what a ‘scunner’ was, but he was very tempted to use it on this newcomer for interrupting his morning dip.

“You wear it short, huh? I like that in a boy.” A mouth nuzzles at Levi’s neck, and he kicks backwards automatically, hearing the groan as his hoof connects with something soft, before whirling round.

“What do you think you’re doing? Do you accost everyone you meet at a bathing pond like this, or am I special?” The minute Levi said it he knew he’d made a mistake. Making conversation with a mulebro like this was a poor life choice at the best of times, but handing them lines like that – 

“I think you’re very special.”

Levi had had enough at this point, flinging both legs back and enjoying the thud of his hooves meeting flesh.

“You’re shod?” the other centaur wheezes out, surprise evident in his tone. Another one of those careful gender lines the colts were walking all over these days.

“None of your business.” Levi says, smartly, and wrenches free of the centaur’s grip, “And it never will be. Leave me alone.” He gets three more paces towards the woods before he’s pulled up short by a long body in front of him, and the most attractive – alright, fine – stallion he’s ever seen.

 

His coat is impeccable, and his tail, though long, is neatly maintained, his colouring a sandy shade which merges perfectly with the slight tan cast to his skin. The human half isn’t bad either, well-muscled and taut, and Levi has to close his mouth rather than say whatever clumsy words want to tumble out. Now that the newcomer is silent, rather than blundering into his bath without so much as a by your leave, Levi can appreciate him a little more.

“I’ve been terribly rude.” The man tries, and Levi raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t try to leave, so the blond tries again, “I should have left you to your bath and not cast aspersions on your tail or shoes – your shoes….”

“They’re practical.” Levi says, sharply, and tries not to think about how there’s a whole subculture devoted to the iron he has nails to his hooves, or everyone seems to find it attractive, “I don’t like stones in my hooves.”

“Well, no, no one does, but… shoes… sorry, sorry, I was… lost in thought – ”

“You’ll crush me if you try to mount me.” Levi gives in, with a sigh, “Unless you can think of something easier.”

To his astonishment, the blond – Erwin, he remembers, that was the name – blushes red and looks away.

“What?” Levi asks, more sharply than he means to, “All that terrible flirting and you’re not just after a quick shag? I’d be disappointed if I wasn’t already bored of this conversation.”

“I didn’t think you’d be so blunt about it.” Erwin snaps back, testily, “Besides, you didn’t seem interested.”

Levi rolls his eyes. 

“It’s spring.” He says, flatly, “The entire natural world is interested, it’s a biological imperative.” 

Erwin looks at him, his face gently saying something about how biological imperative isn’t really true when you’re talking about two male mythical creatures. 

“You know what I mean.” Levi mutters, ears going pink, “It’s rutting season.”

Erwin turns sharp blue eyes on him, raking down Levi’s flanks and pausing at his groin.

“You don’t look excited.” He says, and Levi smacks him with a hand. They all tend to get a little violent in mating season.

“Some of us don’t go around poking out of our sheaths all day long at the slightest look at a shod foot!” he exclaims, hotly, and absolutely doesn’t look to where Erwin is doing just that, and not even being apologetic about it.

 

“You keep your tail short.” Erwin says, almost whining, then looks away. Levi supposes that less tail to swish out of the way will probably make for easier mounting, and possibly shows off more than he thought. He sighs.

“I’m not doing this here,” he says, at last, and Erwin’s front hooves stamp a little about the fact that they’re doing this at all, “The nymphs will be here soon, and unless you want a giggling audience telling you you’re doing it wrong, I suggest we move.”

“There’s a grove nearby.” Erwin says, and his tail swishes, like he’s eager, and no, Levi’s still not going to look at his cock, because he’s got manner and standards and – 

“Fuck, you’re big.” He breathes out, then wishes he could bite back the words when Erwin comes alongside him and lets their flanks touch. He doesn’t mind so much, though, when Erwin uses his extra height to kiss the back of Levi’s neck, and steers him away from the bathing pool.

Levi’s glad Erwin doesn’t say anything, and that the grove they end up in is private, quiet and serene, and Erwin’s hand is still hot where his human and horse spines meet. It’s a tense spot, and Erwin’s hand is big and warm and makes it ache a little less. 

It’s nice, for once, having someone to touch him in a manner which isn’t either over-confident or tentative. The blond seems assertive, but he listens when Levi talks, which is more than most of the males manage in rut season.

“I didn’t get your name.” Erwin tries, a little unsure, and Levi turns to roll his eyes at him.

“What, so you can be screaming it later?” he laughs, and then, because he’s nothing if not mercurial, “It’s Levi.”

Erwin smiles, and Levi tries not to drag his eyes down that firm body. Perhaps this spring season won’t be so bad. He feels warmer already.


	2. Fucking Mythical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone really should have thought about a better design for centaurs. Sex was an absolute nightmare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, if I considered that I had ever had integrity or shame, I think this would rather put paid to those rumours.  
> If you don't want to know how male horses masturbate, look away now.

Being a mythical creature has a lot of drawbacks, Levi has found, and by far the biggest is that no one gave particular thought to how they were supposed to reproduce, or even just get their end away. 

He blames the Greeks for that, too busy reading and bumming each other to wonder whether anything with a human brain might baulk a little at horse dick. Thank goodness the girls are also horses on the bottom, because otherwise the thoughts about girth would be painful. And not just the thoughts.

“The only way I’m mounting you is if we find a convenient tree stump.” Levi grouses, forgetting he had been attempting to avoid anything to do with sex with this overgrown colt twenty minutes previous, “And the chances of that are rather slim.”

Erwin, too, looked worried, although he was looking around, rather than down at the ground.

“I can’t find – ” he starts, but Levi is ahead of him.

“Three clumps to the left of you, more than enough.” He says, pointing to some scrubby little plants, “The leaves will crush down to a serviceable enough oil.”

Erwin looks at him, silently, and raises an eyebrow.

“I thought you didn’t do this much.” He says, at last, when Levi meets his gaze levelly, with no sign of shame.

“I don’t,” Levi replies coolly, “Not that it’s any of your business – but not much doesn’t mean not ever, you know. I have done this before. Sorry if that shatters any great illusions you were having – ”

Erwin walks closer and kisses him, one hand cupping his chin to hush him. Levi is all awkward angles, and an elbow jabs him in the sternum twice before he takes the hint and steps back.

“You were on my hoof, you great ignorant oaf.” Levi sputters, but his cheeks are pink, and Erwin takes that as enough of permission to kiss him again, this time avoiding any hoof-related incidents.

“You’re not bad when you’re quiet like that.” Erwin says, and Levi’s squawk of disapproval echoes in the clearing, “But I think I might like you being loud, too.”

He kneels in the grass by Levi’s hindquarters and nuzzles the gleaming flank.

“Try not to think about it.” Levi advises, “That sometimes works.”

Once more, human brain, horse dick. There’s a bit of cognitive dissonance necessary for Erwin to taste Levi’s cock; for a start, he has to remind himself that he’s similarly poorly designed, and that he should never ask of someone what he isn’t willing to do himself.

Secondly, he thinks, Levi isn’t an animal. That’s important; Levi wants this – as the drawn-back sheath should be letting him know – and is, in fact, being fairly understanding about the hesitancy. Erwin’s tail flicks idly.

“You don’t – ” Levi’s voice cuts off when he feels Erwin’s mouth, hot and careful around him, a scrape of teeth where human mouths just aren’t designed for that sort of stretch, and he whines into it. 

There’s only one way to have a quick one off the wrist when your back half is equine, and that’s the horse way – but this is glorious, nothing like that at all, warm and wet and it makes Levi want to stamp his hoof in delight. He refrains from doing so near Erwin’s body, for fear of hurting him, but the need is still there.

“Okay?” Erwin asks, and Levi snarls, wordlessly. Erwin laughs and busies his mouth again, and Levi wonders if there is any sensation as glorious as being able to feel the chuckle on his lover’s tongue.

Levi is caught in a maze of thoughts, like letting Erwin get himself off whilst Levi whispered filthy things in his ear and didn’t help at all, just leaving Erwin’s stomach muscles to raise and drop that obscene cock until the stallion came messily beneath himself. He has to bite back a moan when he realises he’s been stretched open to take that ridiculously proportioned dick. 

There’s a tree above them, and it takes an awful lot of positioning, but eventually, Levi is under it enough that Erwin can lift up to mount him, but his hands grab a branch, keeping a lot of his weight off Levi’s back. 

The first few thrusts are hit and miss, neither of them being able to use hands to steady themselves, but when Erwin stops catching on his rim and slides in, Levi gasps and arches his neck until the top of his head is brushing against Erwin’s stomach. 

He wants to be closer than this, wants something more than to be mounted, but once more, their designer paid no attention to the fact that hooves don’t make for a great reach around, even if they were capable of balancing easily on just three. Even a caress it out of the question, but he can twist just enough to nuzzle his head against Erwin.

“Want to touch you.” Erwin gasps out, thrusts stuttering as he loses concentration for a moment.

“Touching later.” Levi pants, feeling his muscles tightening, knowing that, for all he may complain about how he is put together, this small amount of stimulation will be enough to make him come, “Fucking now.”

Coming first feels like a victory, even with only a few seconds of difference, and gives Levi enough sense to kneel and then roll out from under Erwin a the bigger centaur lets go of the branch and collapses to his knees. 

Levi gets up and stands, grumpily picking grass and leaves from his previously gleaming coat.

“I’ll need another bath now.” He complains, but his tone is softer than before, and his knees are still coltishly wobbly with his afterglow.

“At least your tail stays clean.” Erwin comments from the ground, and Levi blushes scarlet when he realises that his tail is too short to cover where Erwin’s come is dripping out of him. Anyone he meets on the way to the bathing pool is going to know exactly what he has been doing, although thankfully not with whom. 

He’s fairly certain Petra and the rest of the nymphs would do more than laugh if they saw him looking quite so used.

“So – ” Erwin starts, but Levi flops down heavily next to him in the grass and kisses him, softly this time, as if he’s not expecting anything in return. 

Erwin slips a warm hand to where Levi’s spines meet, and rubs gently, taking the tension away with small circles from his thumb. Levi picks idly at pieces of grass as he does so, and pretends not to notice when Erwin’s hands moves slightly and goes from from massaging at skin to stroking soft hair.

This is a centaur thing. Horses don’t go in much for mutual grooming before or after mating, Levi knows, but he likes to be petted afterwards. Not held, not like humans would, because spooning is impossible when you’ve got six legs each and don’t bend in the right places, but just stroked, and talked to, and made to feel safe.

“You’re so glossy.” Erwin murmurs, in the way that men of all species talk nonsense after an orgasm, “Like water on a calm day.” 

Later, Levi tells himself, he’ll show Erwin how he likes to be washed, and maybe how he likes his tail brushed, too. He’ll maybe even show him the pool by the waterfall that’s two days walk away, but where the flowers which cascade into the water leave him with a coat that’s like silk.

Maybe he’ll even let Erwin pick over his hooves for him, let him get his hands on those shod feet he liked so much. Later, they’ll do a lot of things, if this isn’t just a rutting, or if neither of them is sated after one go. It is, after all, spring, and Levi’s body is loudly telling him that he might be a mythical creature, but he is made up of animals that are not, and one of those observes spring as the mating season.

“Maybe we can try to find sloping ground.” Erwin mumbles, sleepily, and Levi bites his lip so as not to laugh at the mental image of the two of them on a steep slope so Levi could try to mount his larger partner.

“Let’s just get better at it this way round for now.” He says, and gives in to the urge to stroke Erwin’s hair away from his face. They both need a wash, and Levi’s fairly certain there are ants moving busily in the grass beneath them, but for now, those are human worries.

After all, what’s the point in being a mythical creature if you have to think like a human all the time? Levi settles himself more comfortably into the grass, leaning against Erwin, and listens to the sound of rustling leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Russell Howard for the line about the Greeks just reading and bumming each other. "Steady on, Socrates, I'll lose my page!"
> 
> Oh, I'm taking none of the blame for this. This is all Damien's fault, and you can tell him I said so here: http://delusorcosplay.tumblr.com. 
> 
> I'm not actually the OriSor personal porn purveyor, but I don't think they've worked that out yet.


End file.
